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Are we really communicating with language models?

Does the preposition 'to' in Chalmers' framing accurately describe what happens when humans interact with LLMs? The distinction between 'talk to' and 'talk at' reveals whether LLMs are genuine addressees or merely processing targets.

Synthesis note · 2026-04-15
What kind of thing is an LLM really? What happens to social order when AI removes ritual constraints?

Chalmers' title — What We Talk to When We Talk to Language Models — presupposes "talk to." The preposition is not neutral. "To" requires an addressee who can receive in the communicative sense: someone who recognizes the utterance as addressed to them, who orients toward it as a turn in an exchange, who can uptake, challenge, or accept. "At" requires only a target: something one's words are directed toward without the expectation of communicative uptake.

If LLMs process tokens rather than receive communication — if they generate continuations from statistical distributions rather than orient toward utterances as validity-claim-bearing turns — then the correct preposition is "at," not "to." We talk at language models. We interpret what comes back as if it came from a "to." The whole paper is built on a preposition its argument cannot warrant.

The move is designed as the chapter's opening line because it makes the stakes legible in a single image. The difference between "to" and "at" is the difference between communicative exchange (mutual orientation, shared commitment, accountability) and directed output-elicitation (prompt → response, with the user supplying the communicative interpretation unilaterally). If the preposition cannot be warranted, the entire ontological investigation Chalmers builds on it — what kind of entity is the addressee? what is its identity? what are its welfare claims? — is an investigation of something that does not exist in the way the investigation assumes. The addressee who wasn't there.

Inquiring lines that read this note 26

This note is a source for these research framings, grouped by the broader line of inquiry each explores. Scan the bold lines of inquiry; follow any specific question forward.

How do transformer attention mechanisms implement memory and algorithmic functions? Does conversational format create illusions of genuine AI communication? How does rhetorical adaptation affect LLM persuasion and detectability? How do LLMs distinguish causal reasoning from temporal and semantic associations? How can LLM user simulators model realistic goal-driven conversation? Why do language models struggle with implicit discourse relations? How do formal dialogue structures reveal conversation coherence mechanisms? What makes dialogue-based explanation more successful than monologue? How should conversational agents balance goal-driven initiative with user control? Why should disagreement be treated as signal in collaborative reasoning? Do language models learn genuine linguistic structure or just surface patterns? How should dialogue recommender systems manage conversation history and state? Is embodied interaction necessary for language meaning and genuine agency? How do language models establish social grounding in human dialogue? Can LLM personas constitute genuine psychology or remain linguistic role-play?

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Original note title

we do not talk TO language models — we talk AT them and the preposition encodes a communicative relation the argument cannot warrant